1. If you think sex is a pain in the ass, your probably doing it wrong.

2. Home is where the pussy is

3. Tattooed People Cum in Colors

4. Life Sucks So Why Don't You

5. I (club symbol) my girlfriend

6. beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

7. Nobody knows I'm a lesbian

8. TAKE OFF YOUR FUCKING SHOES door sign

9. Fuck Cancer

10. Fuck Your Trend!

11. Do you expect me to take you seriously with the size of that thing?

12. Don't sweat the petty things, Pet the sweaty things.

13. All I want for New Year is to Get Laid

14. I am the Person my parents Warned Me about

15. friends don't let friends drunk text

16. HARLEYS MAKE ME HORNY

17. THIS BITCH DON'T RIDE BITCH

18. Hangups are for losers.

19. Fisting is for pussies.

20. nice tattoos wanna fuck

21. Cheese is Christ

22. THE RIGHT HAND IS A GIRL'S BEST FRIEND

23. your band sucks

24. Sometimes i cry when i masturbate

25. booze or pants i cant have both

26. im bigger in Texas

27. My Mommys tattoos are better and your Mommys Baby T

28. Fuck Guitar Hero

29. Bass Players Do It Deeper

30. It's only Kinky the first time

31. I'm the one he left you for.

32. Fuck Me I 'm Celebrating My Divorce

33. I am they

34. im to fucking busy or am i to busy fucking

35. I've Got Your Stimulus Package Right Here

36. Fuck me im single

37. FUCK OFF I did it my way!

38. Reserved for the lead singer.

39. Peer pressure is for sissys

40. I only fuck guys with tattoos

41. your not supposed to blow on it! it's just an expression!

42. I'd rather be pissed off then pissed on

43. When I Grow Up I Wanna Be A Biker Like My Mommy Baby T

44. Fuck off I'm Riding.

45. Things just haven't been the same since they dropped that house on my sister

46. I am so fuckin awesome

47. I'm the best thing that will never happen to YOU!

48. Fuck Myspace

49. MALE BOX

50. GOD BLESS PUSSY

51. This is NOT a t-shirt.

52. I'll be fucking you later. It's up to you whether you'll be there or not.

53. "You might wear the pants but i get to take them off of you when ever i want"

54. Singers are orally gifted

55. NICE PITT BULL Sorry about your small penis

56. Dont fuck with me, Im Irish

57. no matter how hot she is someone somewhere is sick of her shit

58. Nothing that a shot of Tequila and a Blowjob won't fix!

59. I'M SO FUCKIN METAL I PISS RUST

60. I used to be happily married...now I'm just fucking Happy!

61. No thanks, My hand doesn't Bitch!!!

62. If we fuck are you going to talk ?

63. Why Kick Ass When You Can Fuck It?

64. No. Dude. Seriously. Stick to the Guitar Hero.

65. Your friend is hotter

66. Homewrecker

67. I'm not your girl it's just your turn.

68. i'd fuck you but u dont have any tattoos

69. a big cat can be alot of trouble, but a little pussy never hurt anybody

70. EAT ME BEFORE I GO BAD

71. tips please. and not you dick..

72. I'm Too Old To Give A Fuck But I'll Take One

73. you want me to stop bitching, then put something in my mouth.

74. I Tweet Naked

75. I'm not your fuckin' baby

76. There are two things I can't stand...racial prejudice and wetbacks

77. I CAME FROM WHERE?!?!?

78. I'd have been here sooner but FUCKIN OFF takes time

79. I love you so much I could shit, Baby.

80. fuck the turkey stuff me

81. who ever said diamonds are a girls best friend. must never of met b.o.b. [battery operated boyfriend]

82. Heavy Metal

83. WANTED! Nascar Queen to share my Pole Position.

84. happy endings only exist in fairytales and massage parlors

85. I just jacked off

86. I play bass because I wanted to be in a band

87. If you don't wanna dance, Is a blowjob out of the question?

88. I want to fuck start your face

89. IF YOU DON'T LAST DON'T EVEN ASK

90. IF YOU DON'T LAST DON'T FUCKING ASK

91. if your not sucking my dick i don't care about your opinion.

92. I NEED a girl with a GOOD HEAD on her shoulders

93. Women: I like them as a w(hole

94. Recreation, not Procreation

95. Fuck the bottle i want the tit

96. Not responsible for damage to personal property.

97. life's to short to fuck ugly people.

98. I google myself regularly

99. whenever YOU masterbate God kills a celebrity

100. I've upped my standards so, up yours.

101. ORAL SKILLS WANTED APPLY BELOW

102. I'd rather be fucking your sister

103. if you can read this then your not drunk enough

104. homewrecker

105. I don't suck... I lick!

106. You Gunna Stare Or Spank It?

107. FUCK ME I'M PUERTO RICAN.

108. YOU COULD SINGLE-HANDEDLY MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE OR YOU COULD USE TWO HANDS

109. ARE YOUR NIPPLES PIERCED OR ARE YOU JUST HAPPY TO SEE ME?

110. Let's be naughty and save Santa the trip.

111. NEVER DO ANYTHING THAT YOU WOULDN'T WANT TO HAVE TO EXPLAIN TO THE PARAMEDICS.

112. I survived my wifes menopause

113. The result of one too many drinks.

114. STIMULATE THIS PACKAGE (MAYBE WITH AN ARROW POINTING DOWN)

115. Foreplay is for pussies

116. want to see my stimulus package?

117. "freelance gynocologist"

118. have another beer (maybe that will shut you up)

119. if i fuck you will you leave?

120. i'm only happily married cause i'm fucking your wife

121. I have a dirty mind, & you're on it.

122. life is too short to smoke shitty weed

123. a mans junk is another womans treasure

124. all i want is a beer and a blowjob, is that so wrong?

125. i'd tell you to go to hell but i work there and i dont wanna see you every day

126. Quit texting and suck

127. I'M FLEXIBLE

128. i swear to drunk im not god

129. I reserve the right to refuse service to anyone.

130. Fucking your Mom 573 People Like This!

131. For Her Pleasure.

132. I'll care about your health if you stimulate my package

133. fuck me its friday

134. "I FUCK BUTTS"

135. FUCK YOU, I'M DRUNK!

136. I'm a great bad decidion

137. i have a pornographic memory

138. Balled is Beautiful

139. I'M NOT A SLUT I'M JUST POPULAR

140. Designated Drinker

141. Fuck Your FaceBook!!

142. OLD GUYS FUCKING RULE

143. FREE SAMPLE

144. SMOKE CRACK & WORSHIP PAPA SMURF

145. Fuck Off Bitch, but your Hot Friend Can Stay.

146. ALL DRESSED UP AND NOONE TO BLOW...

147. Sugar Daddy wanted

148. cum and go

149. ATTENTION! I need to get laid.

150. I want a night to regret, any volunteers

151. if ya cant please me dont tease me

152. what the fuck are you looking at?

153. all women love anal, some just don't know it yet

154. SLUMP BUSTER

155. DILLIGAF DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK

156. SOBER & SHY BUT DRUNK & BI

157. Eat me - I'm Danish

158. the yellow "Oversize Load" safety sign on booty shorts or baby shirts

159. I'm an asshole get over it

160. I DON'T GIVE A FUCK TODAY I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK YESTERDAY AND I PROBABLY WON'T GIVE A FUCK TOMORROW

161. I Hate Bitches, But I love Mine!!

162. "I'm Not Taken If You Can Keep A Secret"

163. FUCK LEBRON